Time for some fun with biblical interpretation!

The Bible is a weird, psychedelic collection of books. Take, for example, Ezekiel Chapter 1, Verses 4-24. Is the author employing a parable or analogy to describe some event of great importance? Is he using the limited vocabulary of his time to describe an extraterrestrial spaceship landing in the desert? Or was he just experiencing the effects of a particularly potent, psychedelic plant or mushroom—like so many of the early Christians and Gnostics—conjuring up visions of the gods? According to my own “scientific research,” I’m leaning toward the psychedelic trip theory. Either way, it’s pretty interesting stuff. For those of you who don’t have the book of Ezekiel memorized front to back, have a read!

Ezekiel 1:

4 I looked, and I saw a windstorm coming out of the north—an immense cloud with flashing lightning and surrounded by brilliant light. The center of the fire looked like glowing metal, 5 and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures. In appearance their form was human, 6 but each of them had four faces and four wings. 7 Their legs were straight; their feet were like those of a calf and gleamed like burnished bronze. 8 Under their wings on their four sides they had human hands. All four of them had faces and wings, 9 and the wings of one touched the wings of another. Each one went straight ahead; they did not turn as they moved.

10 Their faces looked like this: Each of the four had the face of a human being, and on the right side each had the face of a lion, and on the left the face of an ox; each also had the face of an eagle. 11 Such were their faces. They each had two wings spreading out upward, each wing touching that of the creature on either side; and each had two other wings covering its body. 12 Each one went straight ahead. Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, without turning as they went. 13 The appearance of the living creatures was like burning coals of fire or like torches. Fire moved back and forth among the creatures; it was bright, and lightning flashed out of it. 14 The creatures sped back and forth like flashes of lightning.

15 As I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel on the ground beside each creature with its four faces. 16 This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like topaz, and all four looked alike. Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel. 17 As they moved, they would go in any one of the four directions the creatures faced; the wheels did not change direction as the creatures went. 18 Their rims were high and awesome, and all four rims were full of eyes all around.

19 When the living creatures moved, the wheels beside them moved; and when the living creatures rose from the ground, the wheels also rose. 20 Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, and the wheels would rise along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. 21 When the creatures moved, they also moved; when the creatures stood still, they also stood still; and when the creatures rose from the ground, the wheels rose along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

22 Spread out above the heads of the living creatures was what looked something like a vault, sparkling like crystal, and awesome. 23 Under the vault their wings were stretched out one toward the other, and each had two wings covering its body. 24 When the creatures moved, I heard the sound of their wings, like the roar of rushing waters, like the voice of the Almighty, like the tumult of an army. When they stood still, they lowered their wings.

Pretty trippy, huh? Strange, human-like creatures descending from the sky, impossibly synchronized movements, blinding lights, strange noises, metallic wheels, and a shining “vault” overhead—possibly a mothership. Is this the Bible, or just another alien abduction report from the local news in a small southern town?

As I mentioned earlier, I’m personally leaning toward the psychedelic theory—maybe Ezekiel got hold of a particularly wild mushroom or plant and found himself face-to-face with the divine. Or maybe it was just a vivid, fever-drenched dream. But then again… maybe, just maybe, Giorgio A. Tsoukalos—that guy with the hair from Ancient Aliens—is actually onto something. Maybe we’ve been in contact with some kind of higher, intergalactic intelligence since the beginning. It would at least help explain humanity’s long-standing obsession with gods, angels, and heavenly beings descending from the sky in blinding light.

It’s fun to think about. Just don’t expect it to pop up in this week’s sermon. Ezekiel’s wheels and fire-creatures tend to get glossed over in favor of the more family-friendly parables. It’s one of those parts of the good book that, for now at least, has been politely left out of the conversation.

Author: Nick Allison is just a banged-up Army Infantry vet. He lives in Austin, TX with his wife, their kids, and two big, dumb, ugly mongrel dogs. Don’t take anything he says too seriously—he’s just trying to figure out this ride we call existence like everyone else. Also, he enjoys writing his own bio in third person because, let’s face it, it probably makes him feel more important.