Fear and Loathing at Rockport Days Inn

First published on TripAdvisor on June 27, 2022

It’s not every day that you find yourself effectively held hostage by a suspected mobster posing as a hotel owner, but when you do, you certainly have to tell the story. Besides, I promised him I’d write a review.

I recently travelled to Rockport, TX for a fun and sun filled weekend of fishing with my old Army buddy, Ronnie. I usually stay at Hilton properties when traveling, but on this occasion, the Hilton property happened to be booked. It’s not like I have some deep and undying loyalty to the Hilton name, but their hotels are always nice, and I have a bunch of points with them. But, alas, I dragged my feet and waited too long to make a reservation on a busy summer weekend. No worries, I thought, I’ll just find somewhere else for this trip. The Days Inn by Windham seemed to fit the ticket. Affordable, available, and highly rated according to past customers who left reviews. I booked a room online. Easy-peasy!

As I left Austin and began the three-hour trek south, I realized I would be slightly ahead of schedule, so I called the Days Inn and inquired about checking in an hour early. The lady who answered the phone, I think her name was Brenda, at least she sounded like a Brenda, at first told me that they were very busy, and checking in at 2 PM instead of 3 PM might not be possible.

“Not a problem,” I told her, “I’ll just grab lunch and take my time-“

“Sir! Hold on, please! Sir!” she said, perhaps a little more urgently than seemed necessary.

I heard her tensely conversing with someone in the background before she came back on the line.
“I just spoke with the owner and checking in an hour early won’t be a problem.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Do you need my reservation number or name?”

But the line clicked, and she was gone.

After a pleasant 3-hour drive past fields of cows and fields of corn and fields of dirt, I arrived in the delightful beach community of Rockport, TX and pulled into the Days Inn, which looked… different than the online photos. I made a mental note to get the name of their photographer in case I ever needed to sell something for more than it was worth.

The man at the front desk, who would later be identified only as “The Owner,” greeted me pleasantly. “Checking in early, Sir?”

“Why yes,” I said, “I spoke with someone who I believe was named Brenda earlier and she assured me that it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“No issue at all, Sir,” he said as I handed him my driver’s license.

“I see you’ve already paid online; I’ll just need a credit card for incidentals.”

“Of course,” I said, as I passed my card across the counter.

At this time the door opened and in stormed Brenda herself. I recognized her voice from the phone call earlier. She was huffing and puffing and thrust a piece of paper covered in room numbers at the man behind the counter while complaining that “this door is broken” and “this room needs something or other.” Etc., etc.

“I’ll fix it,” he said curtly. “Please finish checking this gentleman in. He has already paid, he just needs his room keys, after he does the 5-star review.”

Weird…

“Excuse me?”

“I just need you to go on the website and give us a 5-star review, Sir, and then I can give you your room key.”

I laughed.
Brenda smiled.
The Owner didn’t laugh.

I looked at Brenda, “Wait… is he serious?”

“I’m afraid he is,” she confirmed, nodding her head. “Just do the 5-star review. Then you can have your keys.”

“That seems… highly unusual,” I said. “I haven’t even seen the room yet. What exactly am I reviewing? The lobby experience? Because, honestly, I’m not feeling like this experience is deserving of 5 stars so far. And I’m not writing a review right now. I have places to be. I’ve already paid for the room. You’ve already checked me in. So now you can just go ahead and hand me the room key, please, and I’ll be on my way—this is how these things normally work.”

Brenda didn’t respond to me. She looked shocked, as if I was perhaps the first person to ever consider that saying “no” to this shakedown was a viable option. She turned to The Owner and said, quietly, “He’s… uh, he’s… refusing to do the 5-star review.”

The Owner looked perplexed. He walked back over. “Just do the review, sir. 5 stars! It’s easy and won’t take long.”

“Um, nope,” I replied, my initial befuddlement beginning to turn to annoyance. “That’s not going to happen.”

This back-and-forth went on for almost a minute, until The Owner finally held out his hand, and said, “Please give me your phone. If you can’t find the website to do the review, I will type it in for you. Then you do the 5-star review. Then you can have the room key.”

I laughed, and told him in no uncertain terms that I wouldn’t be giving him my phone, nor would I be writing a 5-star review of a hotel that I’d been standing in for all of three minutes, and informed him that he either needed to give me the room key I’d already paid for, immediately, or I could contact hotels.com, cancel my reservation, write a 1-Star review, and take my business elsewhere, even if “elsewhere” involved sleeping in my car, which seemed likely, given the shortage of available rooms in town.

I couldn’t tell if he was angry, shocked, or just deeply, deeply disappointed in me. He stared at me for a few long seconds, then turned and walked away.

I turned to Brenda. “What the fuck is going on around here? This is the weirdest shit ever.”

She sighed deeply, “Sir, if you won’t do the 5-star review, then there will be an early check in fee of 10 dollars.”

I told her that seemed reasonable. What didn’t seem reasonable was not mentioning the fee earlier while attempting to shake me down for a review. “Go ahead and charge my card the 10-dollar fee, please.”

She sighed, charged the fee, and finally handed me a key for Room 106.

As I was turning to walk away, The Owner stepped back to the counter. “Sir, I’ll still need you to do a 5-star review before you leave, please. Will you do the 5-star review tonight?”

“Don’t worry,” I assured him, “I’ll definitely write a review. I promise”

“A… 5-star review?”

“I’ll write a review. The number of stars is debatable, and quite frankly, rapidly decreasing the longer I have to stand here and talk to you.”

With that, I went to my room.

Now for the review: Days Inn by Wyndham, Rockport Texas
★★☆☆☆

It was clean enough I suppose. About what you would expect from a bargain hotel in a beach and fishing community. The bathroom door didn’t close, due to swelling. The air conditioner worked well, which is nice. There was a loud group of teenagers partying at at the outdoor pool, located about 5 feet from my bed, late into the night. Annoying when one must be up at 6 AM, but not the hotel’s fault. I went out and shut it down myself around midnight. I didn’t see any bedbugs or fleas, and the door had multiple sturdy looking locks. The king-sized bed was comfortable enough and oddly high off the ground, to the extent that when you walk into the room, you can actually see clear to the wall on the other side, which is actually quite helpful when one needs to quickly ensure that henchmen aren’t hiding there, awaiting the darkest hours of the night to jump out and demand a positive Yelp review or something. Also, parking was free, and I was able to back into a spot close to—and directly in front of—the door to my room, allowing for a quick exfiltration, had it become necessary. I figure all that is worth 2 stars, which is 1 more than I was initially prepared to give based on the lobby experience.

I should add, Brenda was nice and polite, and I don’t really fault her. She was obviously just following orders. Perhaps there was either a touch of Stockholm Syndrome at play, or maybe some of her family members were being held hostage somewhere, not to be released until she had successfully delivered a certain number of 5-star reviews. Who knows?

The hotel provided a free “limited breakfast,” but I can’t report on the quality or limitations of said breakfast. I went next door to the Holiday Inn Express, where Ronnie was staying, and ate there. Should you ever visit Rockport, I suggest you do the same. Not specifically for breakfast, but just in general. I’ve never actually stayed at the Holiday Inn in Rockport, but I’ve heard they don’t demand a 5-star review upon checking in.

Nick Allison is a college dropout, former Army infantryman, and writer based in Austin, Texas, who has only written one negative review in his life. He secretly enjoys writing his own bio in the third person because it probably makes him feel a little smarter and more important than he really is.